The Power of Love

     There are many different forms of love.  I can love my dog, I can love the color purple, or I can love having a new car.  But this is not the kind of love I'm speaking of.  Then, there is romantic love.  You are young, and you fall in love.  You believe that you have the "perfect" mate.  You feel high on life and all is well with the world.  But. let's look at that "romantic" love ten years later.  You are married, or living together and you discover some things you don't like about your "perfect" mate.  He leaves his clothes all over the house, or he's makes messes on the dining room table.   If your mate is a woman, she may nag you to cut the grass, or pick up your clothes.  Where's the "romantic" love?  Reality has set in.  Now, begins the real test of love.  Can I look for my mate's good points?  Does he comfort me when I'm upset?  Does he work hard to earn a living?  Is he kind and compassionate to our children, if we have them.  Now, I have a choice.  I can dwell on all his flaws, and I can find many if I concentrate on them enough.  Or I can choose to look for his good qualities.  I can choose to be grateful and express gratitude to him or her.  I can choose to be kind and to overlook the habits I don't like.
      This is real love to choose to affirm and to be kind to your mate.   And we have that choice every day of our lives.  When we choose to really love our mates, as they are, we find peace, contentment, and serenity in our lives.
     Here is the fact, we are made to love and to love unconditionally.  The Bible states that we are made in God's image.  And God always loves us, no matter what.  And we are told to love your neighbor as yourself.  So, love really means that I look for the good in each person in my life.  But, what if that neighbor has harmed me in some way?  What if that neighbor has gossiped about me behind my back?  What if that neighbor has excluded me from neighborhood activities?  Again I have a choice.  I can get angry and hurt.  That is a normal human reaction.  But, what if I stay angry and resentful?  Then I lose my peace and serenity.  Remember, God built us to express love.  Love is a powerful emotion.  Love brings us closer to God.  And I want to be closer to God.
     There is a wonderful American Indian legend.  A father is teaching his young son.  He says, "Son, we have two wolves inside of us.  One wolf is angry and bares his teeth all the time.  The other wolf is loving, kind, and serene."  The son asks, "Father, which wolf is stronger"?   The father answers, "Son, it depends on which wolf you are feeding."
     So, which wolf are you feeding?  I suggest that you write a list of all the people you resent.  Then burn your list and send it up to your Higher Power.  Let Him take care of the ones you resent.  Your task, on this earth, and my task on this earth, is to be loving and kind as much as possible to each person in my life.  And here's the surprise, I feel better.  I feel peace and serenity.  Our souls want us to love.  Our souls want us to make this a better world.  Yes, we have much anger, and chaos in our world.  But, you can change the world by changing yourself.  You can choose to feed the kind, loving wolf.  We all have the same task, to make this a better world.  And you and I can do that by being kind and loving to every person in our lives today.  Start with today.    

Forgiveness -What is it really about?

Forgiveness - What is it really about?

 

Forgiveness is such a huge topic.  Where do I begin?  Well, I'll start with our family of origin.  They help to shape who we are as individuals.  Our mother, and father are the most important people in our lives from the moment we are born.  If we are lucky we have a loving mother who cuddles us, feeds us, and loves us unconditionally.  And if we are lucky we have a father who spends time with us, and teaches us how to live in this world.  But, for most of us, our parents are flawed human beings.  They are products of their own upbringing and they carry their own scars from their childhoods.  And, most of our parents are not aware of the ways they might have hurt us.

Maybe you had a mother who criticized you constantly.  Maybe your father used physical punishment to discipline you.  Maybe, no matter how hard you tried, you could not get your parents approval.  Perhaps you have a parent who stopped talking to you and you never had a chance to heal that relationship.  Perhaps, that parent has passed away and you are left with your feelings of hurt\, your feelings of abandonment.   Now what?  Do you cling to those feelings and feel bitterness and resentment?  You could, but you have a choice.

And here's the choice.  Do I want to live in the swamp of my resentment?  I could do that and I would feel depressed, or full of rage.  I could waste my days with feeling so sorry for myself.  Why me God?  What did I do to deserve this?  Well, actually, you did nothing.  Whatever your parents did to you was from their own emotional baggage.  So now, you have a choice.

You can choose to forgive them.  That does not mean you condone what they did.  Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  Forgiveness frees you to love again, to live again, and to enjoy your life.  Who doesn't want peace and love in their hearts?

So how to forgive?  Here is a simple formula you can use.  You can pray that the person you resent have joy in their lives.  Or you could pray that the person you resent have peace and love in their lives.  When you pray for them, you receive the gift of love, peace, and joy.  But you must do this every day for at least a month.  And, every time, your feelings of hurt and bitterness pass through your mind, pray again for that person you resent.  Our minds are incredibly powerful.  And our thoughts and prayers shape us.  We can become better human beings each day.  The choice is ours.

The Importance of Kindness

     We all know the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  Or the other way of saying this is from Leviticus, which states, "That which is hateful to you, do not do to another person."  Many of us believe that as long as we do not injure another person on purpose, we have fulfilled that commandment.  That is only the surface level of this commandment.  It's relatively easy to avoid doing anything to harm another physically.  But, how often, do we harm others emotionally?  Sometimes, we do it unintentionally, but sometimes we do it intentionally.

     Another way of saying this is to love your neighbor as yourself.  And your neighbor is everyone you come in contact with.  We all have contact, though superficial, with a salesperson, with a mailman, with a bus driver, with a person we may pass on the street, etc, etc, etc.  Do we smile at them?  Do we say hello to others we may pass on the street?  Do we think of other's happiness, or are we consumed with our own, self-centered thoughts and tasks.  The sad truth is that most of us think about ourselves, the majority of the time.

     You may ask, "Isn't that normal?"  Maybe.  But we are not fulfilling one of the greatest commandments.  Ask yourself, "Have I done anything for someone today, just simply to enrich that person"s life?  Have I done anything, without a thought of a reward to myself.  

     The power of kindness to others is well documented.  We know, through studies, that when we perform an act of kindness, we benefit ourselves, and we benefit the other person.  Simply put, we feel good when we can help another.  This goes even further.  Anyone who may witness our act of kindness also benefits emotionally.  An act of kindness can be as simple as holding a door open for the next person.  And another benefit of doing a kind act is that we are motivated to do more acts of kindness.

     The Bible is so clear about this.  We are told to help the widow and the orphan.  We are told to leave the edges of our fields unharvested, so that the poor may gather food.  Let's put that into modern terms.  In this country we have an abundance of food.  Well, most of us have an abundance of food.  But, some children go to bed hungry.  That is a crime in such a rich country as ours.  

     So, what can I do?  I can bring some cans of food to the local food pantry.  If I can't do that, I can give some of my time to help out at a soup kitchen.

     But, here's the most difficult part of that commandment.  What if my neighbor hurts me, emotionally?  Do I want revenge?  That is usually our first reaction.  But, if we hold onto that bitterness for too long, we punish ourselves, over and over.  We replay the scene in our heads over and over.   And we feel all of the hurt feelings over and over.  What if we never get an apology?  That's even more reason to let go of the hurt.  We can learn to forgive the person who hurt us.  We forgive to benefit ourselves.  The person who has hurt us has gone on with their lives.  We need to go on with our lives.

     I wish you all the gift of forgiveness.

Living The Serenity Prayer

Living The Serenity Prayer

Here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

This is a simple little prayer, right?  Yes, it is simple, but hard to live in our lives.  First, of all, I know, intellectually, that I cannot change another person.  But, does that stop me from trying?   Of course not.  When I was newly married, I decided that I was going to put my husband on a diet.  Did I ask him what he wanted?  No, I just went out and bought "Weight Watchers Cookbook."  That's what a good wife was supposed to do in the '60's.  So what happened?  I cooked some wonderful recipes from this cookbook.  I lost weight and my husband didn't.  He didn't even thank me.  Why?  Because he never told me he wanted to lose weight!  On the contrary, he was perfectly happy as he was.

Now, let's fast forward to today.  I leave my husband to choose his own diet.  Diet, is the wrong word to use.  He eats cookies, cake, pies, etc. and he has no intention of stopping.  He is almost 80 years old and it hasn't killed him yet.  Most importantly, it is none of my business.  The same is true of all three of my adult children.  They lead their own lives.  Do I always like their choices? No.  But again, it is none of my business.  I have learned not to give advice unless I am asked.  I have learned to say, when I'm speaking to my children, "Do you want my advice or do you want me to listen?"   I am not perfect with this rule.  There are times I slip and start to give my opinion or advice.  My kids are very forgiving.  They do not tell me to shut up.  They then do whatever they had intended to do anyway.

Who else do I have no control over?  Well, my friends, my neighbors, my spiritual leaders, my congregation that I belong to, the mailman, the weather, etc, etc. etc.  Basically I have no control over anyone else in the world.  That makes it easy.  I only have to control myself.  And there are times that I don't even do that too well.  Sometimes, words pop out of my mouth that make me say oops.  Then I have to make amends.

So what can I control?  I can control my attitude towards other people.  I can be forgiving to those that have hurt me.  I am constantly working on this one.  Instead of wanting revenge, which is usually my go to feeling,  I can bless them.  They never have to know that I am silently praying for them.  Because it's not about them!  It's about me.  I don't want to carry resentments.  Resentments harm me, not the person that I am resenting.  Resentments keep me bitter and hardhearted.  That is what the Pharaoh was to the children of Israel as they were escaping slavery.  He was hardhearted and he was killed.  I don't want that in my life.  I don't want to be spiritually dead.  So, I constantly pray blessings over the people who have hurt me.  They probably don't even know they have hurt me, or more likely, they don't care.  That doesn't matter.  What matters is that I try to be a loving and caring person.  At the very least, I don't have to hate anyone.  They are struggling with their own lives. 

I have learned to forgive my parents.  They did some harm to me, but they also give me good qualities. They are both deceased and I want them to be at peace, and I want to be at peace.  I wish all of you peace, love, and joy in your lives today.

 

 

When Bad Things Happen to People - Number II

     It is now 7 years since I wrote my article,  "When Bad Things Happen to People."  Since that time my life has changed significantly.  I have had more physical problems.  In 2009 I found out that I had an angioma which was bleeding into my spinal cord.  I had surgery to remove it.  The surgery was successful in removing the culprit, but it left me with permanent deficits, I am now numb from my waist down to my toes.  I am learning acceptance again.  I am learning to accept myself, with my physical changes.  I am learning this lesson only with God"s help.  God is teaching me to be grateful for what I can still do.

                             I am grateful that I can still walk.
                    I am grateful that I can drive.
                    I am grateful for my family that loves me 
                    and supports me.
                    I am grateful for my friends who accept me
                    as I am.
                    I am grateful that I can enjoy a beautiful 
                    summer day.

                    I am grateful that I can still dance. 

                        There is so much more that I can be grateful for.  This has been a 

                   difficult journey.  I would never have chosen this path for myself.

                   but here it is.  Each day I have to pray for acceptance of my physical 

                   condition.  Each day is a new day and I have to know that all is well 

                   and that all my needs will be met.  I may not get everything that I 

                   want, but I will get everything that I need.   

                          Each day, I can choose my attitude.  I can be angry and resentful  

                   or I can enjoy my life exactly as it is.  I can enjoy having lunch with 

                   my daughter and my grandson.  I can enjoy the fact that they want to 

                   spend time with me.  I can curse my disability or I can focus on the 

                   beauty of the day.  I can focus on my magnificent purple flowers on

                  the front steps of my home.  I can focus on the blueness of the sky and 

                  the fluffy white clouds floating by my window  I can question why me 

                  God?  I can also choose to know that I don't have that answer and

                  perhaps I am not supposed to have that answer.  The more important 

                  question needs to be, "What am I doing with my life today?"  Do I feel 

                  sorry for myself?  I admit that sometimes I do.  But I try not to stay

                  sorry for myself.  That gets me nowhere because it doesn't change my 

                  physical condition and I've just added an emotional problem.  I want 

                  to choose gratitude because gratitude lifts my spirits and gives me the

                  energy to live the best life that I can live today.

                             I wish you all acceptance of yourself, acceptance of others, and 

                  joy and peace in your life.  We are all part of a Great Plan.  We are all 

                  exactly where we are supposed to be today.  Relish your life!  Enjoy

                  your life today!  Thank God for all of your gifts and talents.  Use those

                  gifts to make this a better world.

  

                   

Are You Codependent?

     Codependence is a term which has been around since the 1980's.  It is usually associated with having a family member who is an alcoholic, or a drug addict.  The codependent in the family tries to "fix" or change the alcoholic, or the drug addict.  Of course, this never works, and the codependent becomes angry, anxious, and emotionally out of control.

     Can you be codependent and not have an alcoholic or a drug addict in the family?  Absolutely!  All it takes is growing up in a dysfunctional family.  Dysfunction is another term that we throw around very lightly.  A dysfunctional family teaches all it's members, not to think, and not to feel.  We are taught not to trust our own feelings.  Basically, we are taught not to trust ourselves.

     Here is a perfect example of a codependent exchange between a child and a parent.  

     The child says,  "I hate my baby brother."

     The parent says, "Oh no you don't hate him, you love him."

     The child learns two things, 1. My emotions are bad. 2. I will not express my emotions out loud.  The child is also not allowed to let his/her emotions have their natural progression.  After all, he may "hate" his baby brother one minute, and then be playing with him the next minute.

     So, if you've not learned to trust yourself, what do you do?  You look for affirmation outside of yourself, affirmation from others.  Codependents want to be liked by everyone.  They become anxious if someone doesn't like them.  After all, we will encounter people who do not like us.  All of us will encounter that.  If we have realistic expectations we will know that and accept that.

     Codependents become consumed with changing others.  They may want to change a spouse,  a sibling, or a friend.  The problem is that it is an impossible task.  The obvious answer is that we cannot change anyone but ourselves.

     We may know that intellectually, but our emotions may get all twisted up when we hear a loved one's problems.  Even if you have the best of intentions, you can only suggest answers, you cannot change another.  And you can only suggest answers, if the person ASKS FOR IT.

     It's even hard to change ourselves.  Most of us need the help of a Higher Power.  That's why I often refer clients to a 12 Step Program such as CODA or Al-Anon.  We are not alone.  We are never alone.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People

I wrote this article for my column in The Times newspaper. Since that writing this has become so much more real to me. I have had a physical problem that no doctor, chiropractor, physical therapist, etc. had been able to help me with. Now my own words have come back to haunt me. When bad thnigs happen to good people is now me! So I'll rewrite the parts of my aricle that I think will be helpful to you and to me also.
I am fortunate enough to belong to an interfaith group. We meet once a month and share various topics. No one imposes their point of view, we just share our experiences. This month the topic was "When Good Things Happen to Good People., by Harold Kushner.
One of the first things our leader pointed out was the first word, "when". Notice the title didn't say "if" bad things will happen it says "when". What a concept. What if we just accepted that we will go through difficult periods of our lives. For some of us it's physical illness, either ourselves or family members. For some of us it's unemployment, divorce, or the death of a loved one. Sometimes we get several of these all at once.
Now, this is what is going on in my life. I've lost a dear cousin to cancer, a close friend is dying of cancer, and I can't find a solution to the pain I've had for almost two years. I'm angry, I'm sad. I rail against Nature, against God, forgive me for that. I look for answers. They are not there yet. Will they come? I certainly hope so.
Now, I struggle to accept all of this. It's so easy to say, just accept. But acceptance is such a messy process. It takes us time to go through all of the emotions.
Then I wrote this in my previous article: Difficult times are the times we reassess our lives. Again that's so easy to say but hard to do. When we're in the middle of a painful time, physical or emotional, we just want the pain to end. Maybe then we can reassess our lives. I know that to heal from emotional pain we need to feel it and go through it to the other end. I'm not so sure what to do with physical pain which doen't go away. Maybe some of you who are much wiser have better answers.
Why do we have pain? I don't really know. Perhaps we do become people and are able to help others going through the same pain as we are. I wish there was an easier way. I would take it in a second.
I do know that if I look back on my difficult times they always ended and I did grow emotionally and spiritually.
For today I wish all of you Peace, Love, and Joy.
Myrna

Learning to Love Yourself

We are taught to love our neighbors as ourselves. However, are we taught to love ourselves? Or are we taught that to praise oneself is prideful? We are not given good models about how to have healthy self-esteem.
If I cannot love and respect myself how can I truly love others? Yet, we seem to have the hardest time respecting and loving ourselves. One of the most common problems I encounter in my clients is lack of self-esteem. They seem to hold themselves to a higher standard than anyone else in their lives. They expect more from themselves than is humanly possible. And, of course, they cannot live up to their own high standards. Consequently, they feel they have failed.
You may ask, "How can I begin to love myself?" One of the simplest ways to start is to take care of your physical needs. It sounds so simple, but how often do we do it? Begin by eating when you are hungry. And feed your body with nutritious food.
Respect your body and your body will take care of you.
When you are tired, plan a rest time in your day. Even if it's just ten minutes you will feel refreshed.
If you don't take care of your body, who will? Relationships are also very important in our lives. We may have r4relationships that nuture us emotionally. But we may have some relationships that tear us down.
These are the people in our lives who don't respect us. These are the people in our lives we can never please no matter what we do. These people can drain our energy and our self-worth.
If we respect ourselves and love ourselves we will make every attempt to surround ourselves with people who nourish our hearts and souls. This is critical. We need to have people who support and love us. This is not optional. This is a requirement for a healthy life.
If you love yourself, you can love others.
If you respect yourself you can respect others.
Even if there is someone in your life who does not respect you, that is not your problem. You still must respect yourself. You must learn that loving ourselves is an inside job. This may be the most powerful lesson in your life. It is healthy to love yourself.

Letting Go of Worry

One of my clients, Mary, just asked me an excellent question. She read my last post on "Acceptance and Letting Go". Her words were, "I know I can't change another person, but how do I stop worrying about their behavior? How do I stop worrying about the consequences of their destructive behavior?"
I'll give you some of my ideas about this topic. Please feel free to add your comments, experiences, etc. Together we can have more wisdom than any one of us can.
We have all been there. We see a loved one who is eating compulsively, or drinking compulsively, or in a bad relationship, etc. The list goes on and on. So what do we do? We attempt to give them our solution to their problems. I don't know about you but I've never had another person follow my advice when they didn't ask me for it. And sometimes they ask my advice and then completely ignore it.
The first thing we have to look at and we have to be completely honest with ourselves about this. We have to know that we are bringing OUR PERSPECTIVE to the situation. And we always believe that our perspective is the right one. We never think that we might be wrong, or partially wrong, or that the other person doesn't see it that way at all.
Just consider this. Is it possible that the person you are worrying about needs to learn an important life lesson from the situation they are in. And if you get in the way that they may never learn what it is they need to.
It is also pssible that you're sending out the message, "You can't take care of yourself. Therefore I'll do it for you." It's funny that God gives us free will to make our choices in life. Is it possible that you're playing God in someone's life. Usually our intentions are good. Usually we want the best for a family member or friend. However, we're taking away their free will.
Remember a time in your own life when you were struggling with a problem. It could have been the end of a relationship, the loss of a parent or spouse, or even the loss of our health. Did you learn something from your pain that you couldn't have learned in any other way? Can you look back at that painful time and know that you needed that to grow, either emotionally, or spiritually?
The best thing that we can do for ourloved ones is to let them know that we are available if they need us. And then we can step back and pray for them. We can put them in God's hands. After all His Hands are so much more powerful than ours. He knows the answers. We do not. One woman in my Women's Coaching Group had a wonderful way to do this. She found a garden chair in the shape of a huge hand. She pictured that as God's Hands. She placed her problems and her family's problems in that Hand.
Put down your burdens and know that you don't need to have all the answers. Surrender to your Higher Power and just let him work. And have patience, the answers come in His time and not in our time.

Acceptance and Letting Go

The term "acceptance" is rarely used in our everyday lives. I first heard the phrase at 12 Step meetings. Alcoholics Anonymous the granddaddy of all 12 Step programs put it into words beautifully.
On page 449 of the AA Big Book it states, "Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, And i can find no serenity until I accept that person, place or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."
What a concept! It is exactly the opposite of the way most of us live our lives. We want to change others, our spouses. our bosses, our parents, or other family members. We want them to behave in such a way as to make our lives easier. We are so sure that if only they took our advice their lives would be better.
Even if we are right, and other's lives would be better if they took our advice, they rarely listen to us. They rarely listen because they haven't asked our opinions.
We obsess over other's problems because they we don't have to think about our problems and ourselves. The fact is that you and I cannot change another person. We are powerless to do that. We may have some influence but each person is responsible for himself or herself. And there are so many other things we cannot change. We cannot change the weather. We cannot change our height. We may be able to change our weight however. The sun will rise each morning and set each night. The seasons come and go. Luckily, we are not in charge of that.
So what can we change? It's so simple. We can only change ourselves. But it's not easy to look at ourselves. It's not easy to see our defects. Sometimes, it's not easy to see our assets. But life is much simpler and more satisfying when we concentrate on what we really can change.
And the fact is that what we resist, persists. Life is a dichotomy in that way. When we fight something in our lives it's likely it will persist.
Does acceptance mean that I have to like everything and everyone?
No. Does acceptance mean that I am passive and don't take action when I can? No.
Acceptance means changing what you can and letting go of the rest.

Acceptance and Letting Go

What is Your Purpose?

I just got home from the funeral of a very close cousin. We were more like sisters than cousins. She was 6 years older than me and treated me like her little sister. Of course, it is these times, of life and death, when we begin to question our own lives. God, what is this life all about? I do believe that each of us has a purpose. I wrote this article last February when we had returned from a vacation but it is still very relevant, probably even more relevant now. I hope it is valuable to you. Let me know by posting your comments on my blog.

What is Your Purpose?
Dr. Myrna Sarowitz

I just got back from a wonderful, relaxing vacation. One of the joys for me about vacations is time. Time is a true gift, a gift to do what we can’t do during our busy workdays. I read a book entitled, “The Purpose of Your Life”, by Carol Adrienne. It was a joy to read and impacted me deeply.
Of course I have thought about this before, but this book gave me additional insights and new ways to look at the purpose of our lives. I believe that each one of us has a unique purpose in this life. I believe that we are each chosen to be on this planet at this particular time. No one is here by accident. We are all part of a universal plan.
When I was younger I thought that a good part of my purpose was to raise my children. I still believe that was true. I did my best to raise them to be good people. And of course I wanted them to find happiness, peace, and joy in their lives. I relish in their successes and I still hurt for them when they struggle. But they now have to make their own lives.
Now I believe that my purpose is to make this a better world in any way that I can. I can’t create world peace or write a great novel. But I can contribute to the world in my own way. While on vacation I realized how everyone influences those around him or her. As I was coming down in the elevator one of the cleaning staff gave me a lovely compliment. That compliment kept me floating for most of that day. Every one of us has that power each day to affect those around us.
Our purpose can be different at different times of our lives. Now another purpose that I have is to enjoy my six grandchildren. This is such a joy in my life because I can just love them as they are. I’m not the parent who has to be responsible for their schoolwork or their behavior in school. I’m not the one who has to make sure they eat healthy meals. In fact I spoil my grandkids with cookies and ice cream, as I never did with my own kids. And my own kids let me know how I’ve changed!
What a joy to love them exactly as they are. I just enjoy watching them enjoy life. In fact, my grandchildren are my greatest teachers. They know how to live in the present moment. I can remember being with my grandsons when they were two or three. They would squat down on the sidewalk to observe the activity of any insect. They were fascinated by bugs. And I was right there next to them looking at bugs in a whole new way.
Perhaps you have wondered, “Do I have a purpose in my life?” Well wonder no longer. You do have a purpose, perhaps several purposes. You are not here by accident. Life is like a huge patchwork quilt. If you were not here, there would be a hole in that quilt. The quilt would be incomplete.
I recommend this book, “The Purpose of Your Life” to anyone who is seeking to live a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Acceptance, AGAIN

I was talking to a former client and she wanted to know more about finding your purpose in life. Thanks Karen for the idea. This is just to open the dialogue. Let me know if this is helpful and let me know any other topics you want me to cover.

Follow Your Bliss
Dr. Myrna Sarowitz

“Follow your bliss.” This is a quote by Joseph Campbell. This is the man who wrote about the power of myths in our lives. He also firmly believed that we should find what brings us joy in our lives. He lived what he believed. He grew up in a wealthy family and he could have gone to any Ivy League college. Instead he chose to travel through Europe pursuing his dream. He came home, eventually went to the college of his choice. More importantly he became an influential author and lecturer. This was his dream.
Now, how do we know what our bliss is? It’s easier than you think it is. You can go back into your childhood and remember, “What did I love to do?” Children have no agenda as we adults often do. They know how to enjoy life. Just watch a baby or a toddler get lost in the beauty of a leaf or a bug. Bugs are fascinating, especially to little boys. I have watched my grandsons get down on the ground and watch ants and other insects. I have had the joy of getting down on the ground with them and truly enjoying the journey of these insects.
How else can you follow your bliss? I will sometimes ask clients, “What do you love to do? Do you love it so much that you would do it for nothing?” I am not advocating working for nothing. I am advocating doing what you truly love to do.
What is very sad is that some of us have never asked ourselves that question. We have never been guided to ask ourselves that question. We may believe that work must be drudgery or it isn’t work. We may believe that to become an adult we must be serious about life. We may believe that being a responsible adult means that all the fun in your life is over. You may believe that fun in only for children.
Think again. Perhaps there is a different way to look at life. All the great artists of the world loved what they were doing, Picasso, Chagall, and many others. If you love what you’re doing, you also will live longer. Many great artists have lived long and fruitful lives. One reason is that they loved what they were doing.
What if, each day, you found something that you loved to do. It could be as simple as being out in Nature and going for a walk. As you walk you absorb all the beauty of Nature that is around us. You might truly enjoy music. You might take time each day to chose your favorite music and let it uplift your spirits. Start with the simple things of life.
The most important part of finding what you love to do is that it will lead you to your purpose. We want our lives to be purposeful. We want to know that we’ve made a difference on this earth. When you “Follow Your Bliss” you find your purpose.
Your purpose might not be to be that great artist. Your purpose might be to help the people in your life in small ways. Your purpose might be to be a loving parent, a loving spouse, and a good neighbor. Your purpose might be to be the best you that you can possibly be.
If you find what you love to do you will be one of those lucky people who look forward to doing your work. Your work will be fulfilling, rewarding, and will bring you joy. Maybe that’s what life is truly about.

Fear: Our Greatest Obstacle

How much of your life is dominated by your fears? So many of us have allowed our fears to guide our thoughts, our actions, and our lives. I have often heard my clients tell me, "I can't do that (write a book, start my own business, go back to school, etc.) And if you believe that you can't you will be absolutely correct.

The best definition of fear that I have seen appeared on a bulletin board in a hospital. The acrostic of fear stood for this, False Expectations Appearing Real. How true is that!

I'd like to ask you to write a list of the fears you have had in the past. Now write next to each fear whether it came true or not. I have applied this to my own life. I think of the many hours that I have wasted imagining that the worst would happen. It very rarely did, or never did.

Why do we worry? If it's a waste of time, why do we spend the precious time of our lives in a useless activity? One reason we concentrate on our fears is that we believe that we can control the outcome of an event. We go on worrying believing that we will hit on the magic solution to whatever problem is upsetting us at the moment. The fact is that there are many circumstances in our lives that we cannot control.

Another reason that we worry is that we think we can prepare ourselves for the worst. And fear tells us that the worst will happen. Not only does fear not prepare you to handles situations, we waste our precious energy preparing for something that will probably never happen.

IF FEAR DIDN'T DOMINATE YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE HOURS YOU NOW HAVE AVAILABLE? Well, for one thing, you could begin to enjoy your life. You could enjoy all that life has bestowed upon you.

I challenge you to begin to enjoy your life today. Look at all you have to be grateful for. Put fear in it's place. Please let me know how this changes your perspective and how it changes your life.

Introduction

Hi,
Let me introduce myself. I am a Professional Life Coach. I coach you to live a fulfilled and purposeful life. I'll be writing articles to help you to live the life you deserve to live. I'll be writing on topics that have helped many others in the past. I also invite you to send me your ideas for what you need in your lives. If I think they will help others I'll write on your topic.
My first article will be about fear and the role it can play in our lives. I'm looking forward to meeting all of you and getting to know you and help you.
Dr. Myrna Sarowitz
http://livingyourjoy.com

Your Life Coach

Hi,

Let me introduce myself. I am a Professional Life Coach. I coach you to live a fulfilled and purposeful life. I'll be writing articles to help you to live the life you deserve to live. The topics will be those that I know have helped others in the past. I invite you to send me your ideas about what you need in your life. If I think it's a good topic for everyone I'll write an article. I'm looking forward to writing what you need and want for a joy filled life.

Dr. Myrna Sarowitz

http://livingyourjoy.com