Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Learning to Love Yourself

We are taught to love our neighbors as ourselves. However, are we taught to love ourselves? Or are we taught that to praise oneself is prideful? We are not given good models about how to have healthy self-esteem.
If I cannot love and respect myself how can I truly love others? Yet, we seem to have the hardest time respecting and loving ourselves. One of the most common problems I encounter in my clients is lack of self-esteem. They seem to hold themselves to a higher standard than anyone else in their lives. They expect more from themselves than is humanly possible. And, of course, they cannot live up to their own high standards. Consequently, they feel they have failed.
You may ask, "How can I begin to love myself?" One of the simplest ways to start is to take care of your physical needs. It sounds so simple, but how often do we do it? Begin by eating when you are hungry. And feed your body with nutritious food.
Respect your body and your body will take care of you.
When you are tired, plan a rest time in your day. Even if it's just ten minutes you will feel refreshed.
If you don't take care of your body, who will? Relationships are also very important in our lives. We may have r4relationships that nuture us emotionally. But we may have some relationships that tear us down.
These are the people in our lives who don't respect us. These are the people in our lives we can never please no matter what we do. These people can drain our energy and our self-worth.
If we respect ourselves and love ourselves we will make every attempt to surround ourselves with people who nourish our hearts and souls. This is critical. We need to have people who support and love us. This is not optional. This is a requirement for a healthy life.
If you love yourself, you can love others.
If you respect yourself you can respect others.
Even if there is someone in your life who does not respect you, that is not your problem. You still must respect yourself. You must learn that loving ourselves is an inside job. This may be the most powerful lesson in your life. It is healthy to love yourself.