Living The Serenity Prayer

Living The Serenity Prayer

Here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

This is a simple little prayer, right?  Yes, it is simple, but hard to live in our lives.  First, of all, I know, intellectually, that I cannot change another person.  But, does that stop me from trying?   Of course not.  When I was newly married, I decided that I was going to put my husband on a diet.  Did I ask him what he wanted?  No, I just went out and bought "Weight Watchers Cookbook."  That's what a good wife was supposed to do in the '60's.  So what happened?  I cooked some wonderful recipes from this cookbook.  I lost weight and my husband didn't.  He didn't even thank me.  Why?  Because he never told me he wanted to lose weight!  On the contrary, he was perfectly happy as he was.

Now, let's fast forward to today.  I leave my husband to choose his own diet.  Diet, is the wrong word to use.  He eats cookies, cake, pies, etc. and he has no intention of stopping.  He is almost 80 years old and it hasn't killed him yet.  Most importantly, it is none of my business.  The same is true of all three of my adult children.  They lead their own lives.  Do I always like their choices? No.  But again, it is none of my business.  I have learned not to give advice unless I am asked.  I have learned to say, when I'm speaking to my children, "Do you want my advice or do you want me to listen?"   I am not perfect with this rule.  There are times I slip and start to give my opinion or advice.  My kids are very forgiving.  They do not tell me to shut up.  They then do whatever they had intended to do anyway.

Who else do I have no control over?  Well, my friends, my neighbors, my spiritual leaders, my congregation that I belong to, the mailman, the weather, etc, etc. etc.  Basically I have no control over anyone else in the world.  That makes it easy.  I only have to control myself.  And there are times that I don't even do that too well.  Sometimes, words pop out of my mouth that make me say oops.  Then I have to make amends.

So what can I control?  I can control my attitude towards other people.  I can be forgiving to those that have hurt me.  I am constantly working on this one.  Instead of wanting revenge, which is usually my go to feeling,  I can bless them.  They never have to know that I am silently praying for them.  Because it's not about them!  It's about me.  I don't want to carry resentments.  Resentments harm me, not the person that I am resenting.  Resentments keep me bitter and hardhearted.  That is what the Pharaoh was to the children of Israel as they were escaping slavery.  He was hardhearted and he was killed.  I don't want that in my life.  I don't want to be spiritually dead.  So, I constantly pray blessings over the people who have hurt me.  They probably don't even know they have hurt me, or more likely, they don't care.  That doesn't matter.  What matters is that I try to be a loving and caring person.  At the very least, I don't have to hate anyone.  They are struggling with their own lives. 

I have learned to forgive my parents.  They did some harm to me, but they also give me good qualities. They are both deceased and I want them to be at peace, and I want to be at peace.  I wish all of you peace, love, and joy in your lives today.

 

 

When Bad Things Happen to People - Number II

     It is now 7 years since I wrote my article,  "When Bad Things Happen to People."  Since that time my life has changed significantly.  I have had more physical problems.  In 2009 I found out that I had an angioma which was bleeding into my spinal cord.  I had surgery to remove it.  The surgery was successful in removing the culprit, but it left me with permanent deficits, I am now numb from my waist down to my toes.  I am learning acceptance again.  I am learning to accept myself, with my physical changes.  I am learning this lesson only with God"s help.  God is teaching me to be grateful for what I can still do.

                             I am grateful that I can still walk.
                    I am grateful that I can drive.
                    I am grateful for my family that loves me 
                    and supports me.
                    I am grateful for my friends who accept me
                    as I am.
                    I am grateful that I can enjoy a beautiful 
                    summer day.

                    I am grateful that I can still dance. 

                        There is so much more that I can be grateful for.  This has been a 

                   difficult journey.  I would never have chosen this path for myself.

                   but here it is.  Each day I have to pray for acceptance of my physical 

                   condition.  Each day is a new day and I have to know that all is well 

                   and that all my needs will be met.  I may not get everything that I 

                   want, but I will get everything that I need.   

                          Each day, I can choose my attitude.  I can be angry and resentful  

                   or I can enjoy my life exactly as it is.  I can enjoy having lunch with 

                   my daughter and my grandson.  I can enjoy the fact that they want to 

                   spend time with me.  I can curse my disability or I can focus on the 

                   beauty of the day.  I can focus on my magnificent purple flowers on

                  the front steps of my home.  I can focus on the blueness of the sky and 

                  the fluffy white clouds floating by my window  I can question why me 

                  God?  I can also choose to know that I don't have that answer and

                  perhaps I am not supposed to have that answer.  The more important 

                  question needs to be, "What am I doing with my life today?"  Do I feel 

                  sorry for myself?  I admit that sometimes I do.  But I try not to stay

                  sorry for myself.  That gets me nowhere because it doesn't change my 

                  physical condition and I've just added an emotional problem.  I want 

                  to choose gratitude because gratitude lifts my spirits and gives me the

                  energy to live the best life that I can live today.

                             I wish you all acceptance of yourself, acceptance of others, and 

                  joy and peace in your life.  We are all part of a Great Plan.  We are all 

                  exactly where we are supposed to be today.  Relish your life!  Enjoy

                  your life today!  Thank God for all of your gifts and talents.  Use those

                  gifts to make this a better world.