Living The Serenity Prayer

Living The Serenity Prayer

Here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

This is a simple little prayer, right?  Yes, it is simple, but hard to live in our lives.  First, of all, I know, intellectually, that I cannot change another person.  But, does that stop me from trying?   Of course not.  When I was newly married, I decided that I was going to put my husband on a diet.  Did I ask him what he wanted?  No, I just went out and bought "Weight Watchers Cookbook."  That's what a good wife was supposed to do in the '60's.  So what happened?  I cooked some wonderful recipes from this cookbook.  I lost weight and my husband didn't.  He didn't even thank me.  Why?  Because he never told me he wanted to lose weight!  On the contrary, he was perfectly happy as he was.

Now, let's fast forward to today.  I leave my husband to choose his own diet.  Diet, is the wrong word to use.  He eats cookies, cake, pies, etc. and he has no intention of stopping.  He is almost 80 years old and it hasn't killed him yet.  Most importantly, it is none of my business.  The same is true of all three of my adult children.  They lead their own lives.  Do I always like their choices? No.  But again, it is none of my business.  I have learned not to give advice unless I am asked.  I have learned to say, when I'm speaking to my children, "Do you want my advice or do you want me to listen?"   I am not perfect with this rule.  There are times I slip and start to give my opinion or advice.  My kids are very forgiving.  They do not tell me to shut up.  They then do whatever they had intended to do anyway.

Who else do I have no control over?  Well, my friends, my neighbors, my spiritual leaders, my congregation that I belong to, the mailman, the weather, etc, etc. etc.  Basically I have no control over anyone else in the world.  That makes it easy.  I only have to control myself.  And there are times that I don't even do that too well.  Sometimes, words pop out of my mouth that make me say oops.  Then I have to make amends.

So what can I control?  I can control my attitude towards other people.  I can be forgiving to those that have hurt me.  I am constantly working on this one.  Instead of wanting revenge, which is usually my go to feeling,  I can bless them.  They never have to know that I am silently praying for them.  Because it's not about them!  It's about me.  I don't want to carry resentments.  Resentments harm me, not the person that I am resenting.  Resentments keep me bitter and hardhearted.  That is what the Pharaoh was to the children of Israel as they were escaping slavery.  He was hardhearted and he was killed.  I don't want that in my life.  I don't want to be spiritually dead.  So, I constantly pray blessings over the people who have hurt me.  They probably don't even know they have hurt me, or more likely, they don't care.  That doesn't matter.  What matters is that I try to be a loving and caring person.  At the very least, I don't have to hate anyone.  They are struggling with their own lives. 

I have learned to forgive my parents.  They did some harm to me, but they also give me good qualities. They are both deceased and I want them to be at peace, and I want to be at peace.  I wish all of you peace, love, and joy in your lives today.