Forgiveness -What is it really about?

Forgiveness - What is it really about?

 

Forgiveness is such a huge topic.  Where do I begin?  Well, I'll start with our family of origin.  They help to shape who we are as individuals.  Our mother, and father are the most important people in our lives from the moment we are born.  If we are lucky we have a loving mother who cuddles us, feeds us, and loves us unconditionally.  And if we are lucky we have a father who spends time with us, and teaches us how to live in this world.  But, for most of us, our parents are flawed human beings.  They are products of their own upbringing and they carry their own scars from their childhoods.  And, most of our parents are not aware of the ways they might have hurt us.

Maybe you had a mother who criticized you constantly.  Maybe your father used physical punishment to discipline you.  Maybe, no matter how hard you tried, you could not get your parents approval.  Perhaps you have a parent who stopped talking to you and you never had a chance to heal that relationship.  Perhaps, that parent has passed away and you are left with your feelings of hurt\, your feelings of abandonment.   Now what?  Do you cling to those feelings and feel bitterness and resentment?  You could, but you have a choice.

And here's the choice.  Do I want to live in the swamp of my resentment?  I could do that and I would feel depressed, or full of rage.  I could waste my days with feeling so sorry for myself.  Why me God?  What did I do to deserve this?  Well, actually, you did nothing.  Whatever your parents did to you was from their own emotional baggage.  So now, you have a choice.

You can choose to forgive them.  That does not mean you condone what they did.  Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  Forgiveness frees you to love again, to live again, and to enjoy your life.  Who doesn't want peace and love in their hearts?

So how to forgive?  Here is a simple formula you can use.  You can pray that the person you resent have joy in their lives.  Or you could pray that the person you resent have peace and love in their lives.  When you pray for them, you receive the gift of love, peace, and joy.  But you must do this every day for at least a month.  And, every time, your feelings of hurt and bitterness pass through your mind, pray again for that person you resent.  Our minds are incredibly powerful.  And our thoughts and prayers shape us.  We can become better human beings each day.  The choice is ours.