Letting Go of Worry

One of my clients, Mary, just asked me an excellent question. She read my last post on "Acceptance and Letting Go". Her words were, "I know I can't change another person, but how do I stop worrying about their behavior? How do I stop worrying about the consequences of their destructive behavior?"
I'll give you some of my ideas about this topic. Please feel free to add your comments, experiences, etc. Together we can have more wisdom than any one of us can.
We have all been there. We see a loved one who is eating compulsively, or drinking compulsively, or in a bad relationship, etc. The list goes on and on. So what do we do? We attempt to give them our solution to their problems. I don't know about you but I've never had another person follow my advice when they didn't ask me for it. And sometimes they ask my advice and then completely ignore it.
The first thing we have to look at and we have to be completely honest with ourselves about this. We have to know that we are bringing OUR PERSPECTIVE to the situation. And we always believe that our perspective is the right one. We never think that we might be wrong, or partially wrong, or that the other person doesn't see it that way at all.
Just consider this. Is it possible that the person you are worrying about needs to learn an important life lesson from the situation they are in. And if you get in the way that they may never learn what it is they need to.
It is also pssible that you're sending out the message, "You can't take care of yourself. Therefore I'll do it for you." It's funny that God gives us free will to make our choices in life. Is it possible that you're playing God in someone's life. Usually our intentions are good. Usually we want the best for a family member or friend. However, we're taking away their free will.
Remember a time in your own life when you were struggling with a problem. It could have been the end of a relationship, the loss of a parent or spouse, or even the loss of our health. Did you learn something from your pain that you couldn't have learned in any other way? Can you look back at that painful time and know that you needed that to grow, either emotionally, or spiritually?
The best thing that we can do for ourloved ones is to let them know that we are available if they need us. And then we can step back and pray for them. We can put them in God's hands. After all His Hands are so much more powerful than ours. He knows the answers. We do not. One woman in my Women's Coaching Group had a wonderful way to do this. She found a garden chair in the shape of a huge hand. She pictured that as God's Hands. She placed her problems and her family's problems in that Hand.
Put down your burdens and know that you don't need to have all the answers. Surrender to your Higher Power and just let him work. And have patience, the answers come in His time and not in our time.